As is probably obvious from some of my previous posts about going wine tasting, I like wine quite a lot. I generally don't get drunk or rowdy when I drink, though on rare occasions I have been known to drink to excess. Lately though I have toyed with the idea of giving up alcohol altogether. The problem is mainly that I don't feel as though I'm really in control of my drinking.
What I mean is, often I will state to myself and to others that I am going to have one glass of wine with dinner. Then I'll have that glass, filled beyond what would normally constitute a glass of wine, of course, and after it is gone I'll "decide" to have a second, and frequently a third large glass of wine. I end up drinking at least 1/2 of the bottle and oftentimes more.
This bothers me because I cannot seem to not do it! No matter how firmly I state to myself I'm only going to have one glass, I have more. When I go out wine tasting with my cousin and we travel from one winery to another, instead of saying, "I've had enough, lets go home." I say, "Sure, lets go to another tasting room."
It's not as though I get falling down drunk every night and puke my guts out every weekend or fail to go to work because I'm hung over, I don't do those things. But, the fact that I don't have the ability to drink a single small glass of wine and stop has me nervous. So nervous that I didn't have any wine last night at all. I don't intend to have a glass today either. I'm using the AA idea that you do these things one day at a time :-) I'm hoping to be able to do this on my own, but if I find myself back at the bottle I may even go to some AA meetings, I've looked it up and there are a number I could go to near here.
So yes, I like wine. Sadly I think that wine doesn't really like me.