Sunday, September 11, 2011

I like Wine - or do I?

As is probably obvious from some of my previous posts about going wine tasting, I like wine quite a lot.  I generally don't get drunk or rowdy when I drink, though on rare occasions I have been known to drink to excess.  Lately though I have toyed with the idea of giving up alcohol altogether.  The problem is mainly that I don't feel as though I'm really in control of my drinking. 

What I mean is, often I will state to myself and to others that I am going to have one glass of wine with dinner.  Then I'll have that glass, filled beyond what would normally constitute a glass of wine, of course, and after it is gone I'll "decide" to have a second, and frequently a third large glass of wine.  I end up drinking at least 1/2 of the bottle and oftentimes more. 

This bothers me because I cannot seem to not do it!  No matter how firmly I state to myself I'm only going to have one glass, I have more.  When I go out wine tasting with my cousin and we travel from one winery to another, instead of saying, "I've had enough, lets go home."  I say, "Sure, lets go to another tasting room." 

It's not as though I get falling down drunk every night and puke my guts out every weekend or fail to go to work because I'm hung over, I don't do those things.  But, the fact that I don't have the ability to drink a single small glass of wine and stop has me nervous.  So nervous that I didn't have any wine last night at all.  I don't intend to have a glass today either.  I'm using the AA idea that you do these things one day at a time :-)  I'm hoping to be able to do this on my own, but if I find myself back at the bottle I may even go to some AA meetings, I've looked it up and there are a number I could go to near here. 

So yes, I like wine.  Sadly I think that wine doesn't really like me.

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