Pretending to be normal is exhausting. Just saying. I'm not really certain why I bother to tell the truth. I suppose it's because I still really would like to "fit in" with the majority. I can pull it off for short bursts but over the long haul I crap out. Eventually I either isolate myself for a few days (or weeks or months) or I go into a melt-down screaming fit that doesn't help anyone at all. Yeah, I do both of these things. There should be some middle ground but I've yet to find it. Navigating social life is hard. Being in this apartment with three other people is not making it easier either. The fact that two of us are certainly Aspie is frustrating Lora in a major way as well, which results in her getting angry which causes me to want to run away and hide, which I actually end up doing from time to time.
Life is hard but so am I.
Good article on negotiating between the Aspie world and the NT world in "Journeys with Autism" today.
Check it out here: Navigating Competing Worlds: The Elusive Ideal of Normalcy
(the)...struggle for identity goes through three phases:
1. Pretending to be normal
2. Finding the autistic community
3. Navigating competing worlds
Sound familiar, anyone?