"Think about these things"

For the last couple of weeks I was reading a dark fantasy series of books called "The Sword of Truth" by Terry Goodkind. This was not the first time I've read these books, I read most of them, all that had been produced at the time, several years ago.

I had forgotten just how very dark these books were. They are filled with images of torture, murder, rape, child abuse and war, good vs. evil. Disturbing to say the least. The story is gripping and pulled me in just as it had the first time I read it.

While most all of the horrors are committed by those on the "evil" side in the conflict I found that the images started to dominate my thinking even when I was not actually reading the book! Thoughts of torture and murder began to appear in my mind at odd times, and I found myself feeling anger, and even rage, more and more as the days went on and I continued to read.

Then on Monday, three days ago, it came to me that there might be a connection between my own dark thoughts and the books I was reading.

In fact I noted this in my journal on Monday:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’ve been reading The Sword of Truth, a dark fantasy series, and it has come to me in the night that perhaps this is not the best thing for me to be reading at this time. In fact I know that this is the case. I’m filling my mind with false ideas about how the universe could work, false ideas about death and the “afterlife.” Perhaps just as bad I’m filling my mind with dark images of torture and abuse. Is this really something that is good for me? I doubt it seriously.

If I stop reading it then what will I replace it with? Not the Word of God surely? That would just be boring. Ah, I see a problem with my priorities here, and I am dismayed to find that at this time of the morning I no longer feel the terror about reading those books as I did last night in my bed.

I don’t want to come off sounding like some sort of Puritan by not reading the books, that is sad, I don’t want to look Holy? OK, I’m thinking I have an attitude problem here...

Philippians 4:8 (ESV)

⁸ Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

That is what I should be doing, not reading this book that glories in death and torture so much that it has begun to cause me to reject God in favor of reading it! I cannot say that the book is evil, only that for me at this time it is not a good thing. I am going to remove it from my list of reading for the time being.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm writing this here on my blog now just as a service to others, and to remind myself, that what we fill our minds with during our "leisure" time has an influence on our spirit just as the time we spend in reading the Word of God does. What we read, the TV shows we watch, the movies we go and see and the books we read, all of these things settle into our minds in ways we may not even notice or realize, but they are there nonetheless, so we need to keep in mind Philippians 4:8 and not fill ourselves with evil but with good.

Oh, and what did I replace it with? I picked up a book I was reading a year ago but dropped in the middle, "The Collected Works of C.S. Lewis" and have been reading in that instead, along with a restored focus on prayer and reading God's word the last couple of days. My spirit is lighter of late, the dark images have faded, the murderous fantasies have receded into the past and I feel much better now. Prayer, God's word and wholesome leisure activities, man that sounds boring, but really, it isn't :-)